Incorrectly Calculated Caper
by knives4cash
Summary: Weiss miscalculates. Something entirely different ensues.


Part forty-four of my RWBY series "Pollination: The Bumblebee and White Rose"

* * *

Warm water. Warm water has always been there to offer respite for me. Even on the worst of days, a long and relaxing bath has helped to bring peace to my mind. Although, now that I'm here at Beacon, I suppose showers are the next best thing. Tch, how typical. A girl as rich as me, and I can't even get a bath for my body. Countless hours of training, studying, and conditioning, only for a blasted shower cell that's smaller than a closet.

Walking back to my dorm, I remove my keycard and unlock access to my sanctuary. Opening the door, I enter to find it vacant. At last. No snide remarks from Blake, no horrific puns from Yang, and best of all: No idiotic Ruby.

Huh, she left her cape on my bed. Typical. That girl would forget her head if it wasn't screwed on. Closing the door, I move the the closet where Ruby and I have to share the already insufficient space. Let's see... school uniform, spare school uniform, and what's this? Another school uniform.

Why, I fear I shall faint from all the fashionable options at my disposal. There's my combat skirt as usual, but can't a girl just wear something different? Come now, Weiss. The director of this institution is a man. You never had a chance.

A narrow mirror hangs on the closet door, allowing me to groom myself more efficiently. My towel clings to my form, leaving little to the imagination. Then again, the one wrapped around my head gives the illusion that I'm smuggling a beehive in. My eyes wander towards my chest.

I don't care. It's better this way. I wouldn't be able to fight the way I fight if I had the extra forty pounds of flesh on me. Yang simply does not understand that- oh, who am I kidding, I wish I didn't have such a flat chest! That's not fair either! I deserve curves too!

In fact, I'm the one who deserves a curvy figure the most, but who gets it? The blasted blonde who flaunts those jugs around like she's the bloody milkman!

AAARGH!

I unwrap the towel around my head, letting my slightly damp hair flow freely. It's taken me years to grow it into such an elegant and graceful head of hair, unlike Ruby Rose. She keeps it at that preposterously short bowl cut.

Hey, it's her loss. If she wants to draw attention to those silver eyes, that's… her… deal.

Come now, Weiss. Such thoughts are unbecoming of a lady. This is the millionth time, and you still can't get over it.

I sit down on my bed. Idly running my fingers through the cape's material, I frown. It's so fluffy. Heh, that's fleece for you. Who knew the dunce had a sense of fashion. I suppose the girl's got her redeeming qualities. If she had none, I certainly wouldn't be thinking these thoughts now and then.

I have yet to pinpoint exactly what those qualities could possibly be, though. She's always trying to prove herself to others. She should know that her own opinion matters most. Her dieting is atrocious, and her combat style is too rambunctious. That scythe is top heavy; she's a lightweight. She doesn't have enough weight in those long, slim, sleek, and probably smooth legs of hers to balance out the weapon. And she doesn't wear eye protection; if something were to happen to her silver eyes, it's be a tragedy. And she's two years younger than me, but she's taller than me! That's not fair! If we kissed, I'd have to stand on my toes to reach her!

Clearing my throat, I swat away the sweat that's decided to stick to my forehead. Looking down at this piece of fabric, I wonder what it's like for her. She almost got killed because of a giant feather spearing it, but she still insists upon wearing it. I wonder why she left it behind.

Blake and Yang are out on a date. Would the little sister be bold enough to keep an eye on the bigger.

...I doubt it. Ruby is still so innocent.

I sigh. It feels as if I dislike her so much that I've come full circle and actually like her in some sadistic manner.

Confound it, this cape feels really nice. I'm alone. I suppose I could just try it on.

Finding the buckles on the headpiece, I drape it over my hair and hook it around my neck.

The material feels so soft against my skin. But, the towel wrapped around my torso is… prohibiting me from experiencing it fully.

The towel lands on the floor with a flop.

Mmh, something this soft should be outlawed. Nothing would get done; everyone would be too busy rolling around in these fantastic capes.

Now, now, Weiss. Let's be reasonable about this. You've endured a lifetime of anger, frustration, turmoil, and loneliness.

I've bloody well earned the privilege of rolling around wrapped up in someone else's cape and not wearing any clothes whilst doing so.

Weeeh, look at you go, Weiss Schnee. Rolling around, back and forth, left and right, side to side. Aren't you just thrilled with your rebellious actions?

I'm not crazy. This is normal. I've earned this. I've earned this. I've EARNED THIS!

Besides, Ruby's off doing whatever it is adorable dunces do. Maybe she's buying school supplies. She might be getting her nails done. I think white would go well with her look. Although, everyone around here is already albino white. It's actually somewhat concerning.

Ugh, but if she's talking to some stupid boy, I may have to… protect the team's interests and eliminate a potential… distraction.

Look at yourself, Weiss Schnee. You're rolling around, huddled up in Ruby's cape while being jealous about imaginary boyfriends dating a girl who's not even worth your time.

What happened to you, girl?

Ruby happened, girl. That adorable, annoying, graceful, rambunctious, and yet somehow endearing girl happened.

The wooden floor is cold to my bare feet, but I manage to keep myself up. Still, I keep the cape wrapped around me. I don't really want to take it off. Huh, looking down, I see that this thing can hold at least two people. I suppose that could come in handy. What if she and I were trapped in the cold? Mmh, closing my eyes, I can see it now.

"Weiss-kun," she would whisper, "I care too much to let you freeze to death."

And I would obviously reply over the raging winter wind, "I don't need your body heat to stay alive, Ruby-samsung."

"But I love you, Weiss-kun!"

"Would you stop with the kuns?! It sounds so weird for a real person to say that kinda stuff!"

"But you're so hot and perfect and even though you have small breasts you're still beautiful and sexy."

"I suppose you're right."

"Yay! May I cuddle you now?"

"You may cuddle with me." I answer out loud.

"...Oh." Ruby squeaks out.

My eyes shoot open. She's standing in the doorway. She's got a towel wrapped around her and nothing else. Weiss Schnee, you have made a miscalculation. "...How long have you been standing there?"

She awkwardly jabs her toe at the floor. "Long enough to hear your offer?" She asks meekly, rubbing her arms.

"Oh." This would be a good time to just melt into the floorboards.

"Yeaaah." She sighs. But, she closes the door behind her and steps forward. "Like my cape?"

Ugh, small talk at a time like this? I nod. "It's very… soft."

She silently nods in understanding. "I like it too. I rarely take it off. It's only when I bathe or sleep, really." She reveals as she comes closer. "Can I have it back?"

"Nope!" Oh, this is bad. This is bad. This is BAAAD. "I'm afraid not!"

She stops a few feet short of me. There's a long pause before she asks, "No clothes?"

I motion towards my discarded towel.

"Ah." She nods again. "It does feel nice, doesn't it?"

I nod.

She smiles. "Are you… doing anything later, Weiss?"

Oh, well now. That's coming out of far left. "...No. I suppose you'd like to get your nails painted or something childish of the sort?"

She giggles. "I'd actually like to just…" She pauses, mildly waving her hands about in an attempt to find the right words. "Just talk. Get to know you. See where you're coming from. Where you're going. Maybe I could go with you." She finishes, giving me an anticipating gaze.

Hmm, those are fair ideals. Clutching the cape around my front, I sigh, "I'd like that."

She clasps her hands together. "Really?!" She breathes a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness! I was afraid you'd say no, and then I'd have to leave without my cape, and then you'd maybe pick your nose with it-"

"Sweet lord!" What a horrible thought! Who thinks of that?! "Ruby Rose! Speak not of such vile things!"

But Ruby is unfazed and chooses to hug me, despite the lack of clothing on her and the complete lack for me, save the cape.

"Thanks." She murmurs. "For giving me a chance. Also, for not picking your nose with the cape." She actually giggles at her own awful thoughts. Unbelievable.

"I'd hug you back." I growl. It's not like I planned this. "But my hands are protecting my purity." If the cape had a button system or a zipper, I could use my arms to hug her back.

The door opens with a slam, and Yang staggers in with Blake in her arms. They freeze at the sight of Ruby in a towel, hair still dripping wet, hugging me, Weiss Schnee, who is naked under Ruby's cape.

Oh, I'm sure a camera would be worth a galaxy's weight in gold right now.

The four of us stare at one another in silence. These series of events appear to be strung together in an almost random fashion. Will I have to deal with this for the next four years?

Ruby and Yang simultaneously ask, "What did I tell you about bringing girls home?"

"Technically, I didn't bring a girl girl home." Yang smirks.

Blake growls back in a rather feline fashion. Huh, it kinda looks like her bow twitched.

Ugh, it's going to be a long four years.


End file.
